10.58 PM on a lonely night

What's the one thing I would like to change to make this life of mine better? The one thing that I can make a habit in my life that would make a better me?

I think it would be a long long list for all of us. Wouldn't it be?

My mind just went for a ride thinking about all things starting from getting married to going for a jog, to just improving my tech skills to doing an MBA... so many things. Am I so imperfect? If I am, is it something I should be proud of or hate?

I read somewhere that change should be effected one thing at a time. Let me see if I can do that.

Tomorrow morning, I will go for a jog. This is something I can do anywhere in the world, irrespective of the place I am in. {Ok, maybe not if I am in Antartica or some such seventh or eigth continent which is too damn cold a place...}.

Ok. So "Jog" is my FIRST CONSCIOUS HABIT. Sorry. WILL BE my first habit.

PS: BTW, I'll be getting a wireless internet connection tomorrow. Hope I will be able to blog regularly, now that I am alone here and there's more space in my head to fill with the time continum.
PS1: By the time I posted this from office, I had gone for the jog in the morning, on a wet beach... the weather today morning was AWESOME

A walk in the park

There's a park behind my house. My grandfather, Tata I call him in my mother tongue, goes there for his walks. That day, some day I forget when, depressed as I was with my life, I decided to go for a walk in this park. So off I went with my iPod, listening to some songs...

Anyways, as I was walking the walk in the park... I came across my grandfather. Beside him was a boy, about 6-7 years old, holding my grandfather's hand and walking beside him, occasionally nodding his head to something Tata was telling , and stopping now and then looking inquiringly at Tata. When I had, in my childhood, heard stories from Tata, maybe I looked like that kid. Maybe I had the innocence and the time then, to pause, to listen, to wonder, to laugh and to cry, to jump with joy, to just hold his hand and walk. As I passed by them, saying a "Tata, I felt like coming here today... So here I am, walking" type of "Hi" to my surprised Tata and giving him a knowing smile, I think I envied the child's innocence and wondered if and when I had lost the child in me.

I had walked a little further, with the songs, and wandering in my thoughts, when two grown up men, the kind of whom we call 'uncle', passed by. They were busy one was on the phone talking something, and the talk was as fast and brisk as his walk. The other was swinging his arms wildly in supposed exercise motions. They signified purpose in their every action, were intense in whatever they were doing. They seemed that they had a purpose to walk there, and they wanted to make maximum use of the time they had. I could guess from their walk and crisp talk that they were the men from the modern world, men whose time came at a premium, and who intended to change the world with their skills. Men who had no time for stories when they were creating their own, men who had no time to listen when they were to make theirs heard. Those gentlemen I can bet had hardly noticed anyone else in the park.

I stood between the two, Tata and the child, and those two and for a moment, wondered what I'd be. Then, in a moment of madness or call it what you may, I switched off my iPod, walked back to where my Tata was narrating a story to the kid, held his hand and walked with him.

The Search for Mine

I searched.

Searched for a person who would make me theirs.

 

I found my grandpa.

He taught me to read, he taught me to write,

He taught me to play, and pray,

He is a teacher, the best of it’s a kind,

I, a student, the worst,

And when I look up into his eyes,

My heart says,

He loves you with all he has,

But you are not his.

 

I found my grandma.

She cooked the sweets, and washed the plates,

She nurtured me back to health when I was ill,

She is the person who made me stand,

Who makes me stand even today,

And when I look up into her eyes,

My heart says,

She loves you with all she has,

But you are not hers.

 

And so there were, and are,

My aunts, and uncles,

My sisters and brothers,

And those few gems of friends,

Who gave me their love,

And yet, when I look up into their eyes,

My heart says,

They love you with all the have,

But you are not theirs.

 

And then one day,

I found the girl, the person I adore,

With all I have,

And thought my search had end,

But then it showed,

Love its colors in real,

And when I looked into her eyes,

My heart said,

You must be kidding,

How can you be hers?

 

One day the final,

It dawned on me,

To look for the person from whom I was made,

Whose love I had not missed,

For I had not seen,

Amongst the fractured love that drowned me in,

I looked now, for amma.

 

Alas, amma, why did you leave me?

Should’ve taken me home…

Should’ve taken me home…

 

Dev D- A ReViEw

Rating : 10 out of 5 stars…. I Loved it. ABSOLUTELY. 

You’ll be blown away in the first 5 minutes. Its got perhaps the best OPENING 5 min… and I mean literally OPENING… 

What follows is an irresistible sequence of events, a racing screenplay, unbelievably realistic dialogues, superbly choreographed songs that blend into the story so much that you don’t even realize there are so many tracks, amazing acting … man this movie has everything. 

To me, this movie is a movie for a life time. The feelings portrayed, the dialogues and the foul language were an instant connect. 

Watch this movie for the feel you’ll come out of the movie hall… 

And trust me, you can watch it more than once, and you’ll never tire of it… 

Great Movie. Must WATCH. 

Kudos to: Anurag Kashyap the director, Abhay Deol the hero, and the two heroines... 

Tauba Tera Jalwa… Tauba Tera Pyaar… Tera Emotional Atyaachaar……..

 

J

Black

The eyes, the hair,

The future and the past,

Both black, both dark,

Seems so gloomy in my lot.

 

Of black I think a lot,

Of black futures in my thought,

Of a forgotten past that haunts,

And a love that taunts.

 

Amidst the black,

I ask,

Is there white in my rack?,

Will I be back?

Coffee

The bitter and the sweet,

Together form a treat,

Waking me from the slumber,

Of sleepiness, sorrow and dreamy wander.

 

Of milk, water and sugar,

Of love, cries and laughter,

Of sleepy eyes and lost nights,

Of dazzling mornings and hazy noonss…

 

Life’s full of coffee

Sugar sweet and bitter caffeine,

Both blended in beautiful haste,

Drink it, don’t let it go waste.

Are you happy?

You wanted me close, or to go far?

Didn’t you love me when I was so near?

Or was I a fool like everyone

In thinking that I was the only one?

 

I gave you a place here,

Here, where I heard you so clear.

I thought that that’d be so nice,

I didn’t know there’d be so much noise, and I’d lose my own voice.

 

You say now I leant on you too much,

But I just showed my world as such,

To you my love, I gave everything,

Thinking that it was the diamond ring.

 

You damned the cracks you saw in me,

You dreamt of a life I’d never be,

To you, my past was dust, the future full of rust,

And I was left, with my world crushed.

I had to do this, or die,

I had to throw you out of that place or cry,

And now I have to fight myself, (as much as the world),

For an honor and an insult of my wounded self.

Are you happy?

Are you happy now???