Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Who?

He’s deaf and dumb, or so you think. People have given up on him. “He don’t hear a thing”, they say. “Oh him? He’s deaf and dumb like a dead duck”. Yeah, that’s what they say. They say, he’s as meek as a trained cat. Harmless, a dumb waste on earth, good for nothing. He just doesn’t exit, merely passes by existence.

Oh you’ve got to speak to him now. Make him understand. He’s no dumb fool, not a meek cat, Goddammit, he’s a giant. He can do things that those lilliputs around him can’t even think of. 

Oh you’ve got to speak to him. You see, he ain’t deaf or dumb. He’s just been fooling those morons out there around him. He’ll listen to you patiently. He’ll talk to you, if you hear him. 

He’ll break through that jail. He’ll run the miles. He’ll take you to your dreams. He’ll take you with him. Who?

He’s the giant with you. He’s in you.

PS: This is my tribute to one of the greatest movies ever made.

      To “One flew over the Cuckoo’s nest”.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Love Letter

Dear Sleep,

Dearest Sleep,

My love,

            I love you. I want to make love to you. On the most comfortable bed that I can find, or on the floor, or on the table, or wherever you want to. I want to dream those sweet dreams with you. I want to lie in bed with you all day long.

            You are the person who makes me happier than anybody else. I would give my life for you, for a couple of hours in bed with you right now; I could give up a couple of hours with Angelina Jolie in bed, that’s how much I love you.

            Pain, sweet pain. That’s what I experience from this distance between us today. Ah! What a joy there is, in this pain of waiting for you, in this hourly minutes that pass by while I  am lost in the dreams of the times we have spent together.

            I will wait dear, for you; I will wait for 24 more hours. Alright, I’ll give a bonus of 45 minutes more…

            I love you, my dearest. You are always in my eyes, if not in my heart.

Yours forever,

Forever yours,

Until we meet again,

Yours when eyes closed, yours when eyes open,

Abhi

 

 

 

 

Tatana Kathegalu- Huliyaar School

I was a primary school teacher in a little known village called Huliyaar near Tiptur, Karnataka. It was the days when Mahatma Gandhi was still fresh in the minds of people; maybe, I think a decade after we had gained freedom.

At that time, I was full of energy and ideals, having taken part in the freedom movement, and having the dreams of ‘Rama Rajya’ still alive in my heart. It was also a time when teachers were actually respected and revered, also a time when teachers strived to earn that respect and reverence of students by their quality of teaching. 

The school at Huliyaar was a dilapidated building which would leak when it rained. It was also very small for the number of students, as students from near-by villages and hamlets also came to this school.

It was decided then that we would form a committee which would work towards raising funds so that we could build a new building for the school. Committees in those days actually did do some useful work. So a committee was formed, comprising several teachers at the Taluk level and a few teachers from our school including me. I, being full of energy, and being known for my integrity and willingness to work hard for the sake of students, was made the secretary.

From then on, for a year or so, ideals and energy driving our hearts, we worked towards gathering the money. We requested rich landlords to fund our project, and grant land. We staged dramas in villages and gathered the money we earned there. It was hard work, and when it was done, we had a sum of about 1.5lakh Rupees and the land for building the new building.

You see, what me and my hard working team didn’t realize is that there were people even then who were morally corrupt, and were no less than the modern corrupt officials and politicians. Immediately after the funds were raised, members of the committee voted to make one Mr. Ramamurthy as the secretary, explaining that I was needed in ‘other’ useful activities now. Most of us who had worked hard to garner that money were simply put in useless posts of no consequence. The money which we had broken our backs to earn was swindled out right in front of our eyes, and how!  The students of the school were put to work, to construct the building, and the smart committee showed labor costs in the account books. They swindled money to such an extent that before the roof of the building was up, the funds were exhausted. It was an open secret then that they had swindled and looted the funds. The committee members promptly got themselves transferred to other schools, and the new people folks who came to our school had no idea what to do about the half–done building.

You see, I was a fool then. I should have realized then that I should never have done anything for those unworthy idiots. But I felt for the students. I funded the rest of the building with an insurance policy of mine that had matured. The committee promised they would return the money. Their promise ended at the opening ceremony of the school, where they presented me a bouquet of flowers.

What a legacy of corruption those corrupt acts have created! Today, it is everywhere. Even the parliament. What can we do? Go to court? If it takes 10-20 years to prove a murderer as a murderer, I don’t know how long it will take to prove such corrupt acts. You see, most people are rotten. As long as their morality and ideals are wrong, no court, no law, no policy is going to work. Rama Rajya is best forgotten, I guess. Sometimes I think people who fought so hard for this country don't deserve to see this. But then such is life… Earlier it was the British. Now it is Money and Power. Maybe some are just meant to be slaves, some are meant to fight and die, some are meant to fight, live and die.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Music – September


Featured Band: Tool

If you haven’t heard them, you've missed a lot. ‘Tool’ is one of my favorite bands, and has to its credit some of the best songs ever made. The track ‘Lateralus’, in which the syllables of the vocals are in Fibonacci sequence(so are the drum beats), is an awesome track. The essence of rock music, I think, is to identify and lend its meaning in the context of one’s life, and this song has meant so many things to me at different times. ‘Schism’ is another track that is one of my favorites. Its guitar riff is something that I absolutely love and I am sure it will stay with you from your first listening. If you are really interested, please do check out the lyrics of this song HERE

My top ten songs for this month are:

(Song name-band/album/movie) 

  1. Schism – Tool
  2. Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve
  3. Painkiller – Judas Priest
  4. Beat It- Michael Jackson
  5. Ondonde Bacchitta Maathu (Kannada) - Inthi Ninna Preethiya…
  6. Gudugudiya Sedi Nodu(Kannada)– Raghu Dixit
  7. Kangal Irandhal(Tamil)- Subramaniapuram
  8. Bharath Humko Jaan Se(Hindi) – Roja
  9. Baavra Mann(Hindi)-Hazaaron Khwaishien Aisi
  10. Teri Deewaani(Hindi)– Kailash Kher

 

(Note: The above mentioned songs are not necessarily contemporary as can be seen by the absence of songs from “Rock On”. They are merely songs which have been played most on my system and iPod this month)

Yappaaaaaaaa……

Situations arise in my life, almost every hour, when I am in conflict with what I think I have to do, and what I feel like doing. I would like to be with my friend watching a movie, but I have to work now; I would love to have that sweet, but I think I am growing fat and need to cut down on my sweet habits. I hate the job but I think, since they are giving me an onsite opportunity, let me stay a few more months. I feel I should have been given a good appraisal but I think I got what I deserved. I think I have to study, but I feel like sleeping. These are situations I constantly encounter. Everyday, every hour.

Am I to live with this through out my life? Am I to constantly spend my energy in willing myself to do something, rather than spend it on actually doing it? Am I to die like this, like a man torn apart on the inside, trying to hold things together on the outside? Why is this conflict? Why is it that my desires which should have culminated in happiness constantly yield the opposite? Who the hell is asking all these questions inside me? Are so many different clones of myself inside me, or are they voices of the same thing? Who am I?

A Long Time Ago


“Low Petrol”, she thought, as she waited in her car for the green at the signal. Switching radio stations impatiently, she cursed the stations for playing the junk that they play.

Two girls crossed the road in front of her car, on their way to school, hand in hand, chattering about something. Somehow, she felt sure, that their conversation would be better than this radio. She felt the admiring glances of the two girls on her as they passed by.

She remembered her school days, the days when she had dreamt of today. She had dreamt as a kid, just like those girls were now dreaming. The car and the radio to herself, the money to herself, her life to herself. Today was the day she had dreamt of, then… that day… when she had crossed the road with Krupa alongside. 

Krupa was her best friend. She had walked to school with her. She had ridden with her to college. She had been her confidante, her support, her companion. Today, Krupa was getting married.

She thought of the times they had spent together, the joys they had shared, the pain they had tried to bear, the problems they had negotiated … the shopping they had done, the guys they had talked about, the films they had seen, the places they had been to. 

The light turned green, as she instinctively drove to the office through the maze of traffic.

Pushing her thoughts aside, she tried to focus on what she had to do today. Today was an important day in her career, she told herself. Today, the website she and her team were developing would go live. The satisfaction of doing a job well… this was what she had strived for. She would be happy, she told herself, her hard work would be appreciated, and the accolades would start pouring in. 

She had been happy once. The world had seemed so relaxed… “That seemed such a long time ago…” she thought. 

She stepped into the reception of her office, the chill of the AC welcoming her. Just as she stepped into the lift, her mobile beeped. It was a message from Krupa: “Where are you?”