Yappaaaaaaaa……

Situations arise in my life, almost every hour, when I am in conflict with what I think I have to do, and what I feel like doing. I would like to be with my friend watching a movie, but I have to work now; I would love to have that sweet, but I think I am growing fat and need to cut down on my sweet habits. I hate the job but I think, since they are giving me an onsite opportunity, let me stay a few more months. I feel I should have been given a good appraisal but I think I got what I deserved. I think I have to study, but I feel like sleeping. These are situations I constantly encounter. Everyday, every hour.

Am I to live with this through out my life? Am I to constantly spend my energy in willing myself to do something, rather than spend it on actually doing it? Am I to die like this, like a man torn apart on the inside, trying to hold things together on the outside? Why is this conflict? Why is it that my desires which should have culminated in happiness constantly yield the opposite? Who the hell is asking all these questions inside me? Are so many different clones of myself inside me, or are they voices of the same thing? Who am I?